Resolution time.

Another rainy, icky day in Southern Ontario. K, Mother Nature, it's January. I know that some people are totally thrilled with the fact that they can still get out and shoot their little balls around, but I'm sorta tired of mud. My horse's legs are caked in it, the dogs bring it in whenver they go outside. And, well, it's WINTER! It rather scares me to realize just how radically things have changed in the past few years. Even though I should be grateful for the savings to my hydro bill, I can't help but think that we'll pay a much higher price in the end.

Okay, onto a more cheery topic.

Resolutions. My number one resolution this year is to be happy. And to assist those around me to be happy. Because I think that if we're happy, all those other things like losing weight, working out, saving money will all fall into place naturally. I certainly do have some writing goals that I will accomplish.

1. Enter a contest a month.
2. Learn my craft.
3. Finish the d@mn books I've started. Or at least get back to them before December 31, 2007
4. Flog Limitless. I am going to get this sucker out there and get it sold to someone, or at the very least exhaust all options. At that point I'm going to save the one final copy and delete every other bloody file I have on this manuscript in all its incarnations. I'll free up so much space on my computer. LOL

And finally, I'm going to have fun.
I do have some horsey goals too, number one getting my mare bred. I pray she catches. And I pray it doesn't cost me an fortune to do it.

That's about it, but number one is being happy.

Another day, another goal

While I haven't offically set out a list of resolutions for the coming year, I do have several swirling around in the ole gray matter. Getting into a regular writing regiment is right up there with eating better, loosing weight and exercising. Then there's housework. Oh, and money. All of which need to be addressed. And oddly, all of which are linked, at least psychologically, to one another, at least in my world. My mood and state of mind affect whether I decide to clean the bathroom or eat another slice of toast with peanut butter. Or have several.

Control is also a very big issue for me. Lately, after emmerging from that lovely dark, dreery funk of depression, which is the only thing I can attribute my mental, emotional and spiritual absense to, I've discovered that while I was away (mentally, emotionally and spiritually) I relinquist control to my dear mother. Either that, or she saw I wasn't 'here' and picked up the reins and took over. Good thing she did. However, I'm back now, and have been for some time. I want my control back. And it's not been an easy thing to take back, although, I do suspect she's more than ready to hand over the reins again, at least in some respects.

This is the second time in this incarnation that I've experienced depression. The first time was brief and purely environmental. I was in a relationship that wasn't 'right' for me, nothing horribly wrong with it, but I was depressed. The relationship dissolved, albeit not the way I had imagined, and the veil was lifted. This time, it lasted a lot longer and I'm not quite sure what happened. I do know I entered into an Anne and came out a Jordanne. And this year I think it's time to make that official. The only thing I hope for, and I'd be kidding myself if I didn't think I could escape that black cloud again, is that I have enough presence of mind to get some drugs next time! Everyone seems to be on something and I almost feel like I'm missing out on something! LOL Just kidding. Kinda

Blessed be,
Jordanne

Another Shift in the Universe

I had an Epipphany...
And no, it didn't hurt. While reading another blog, the content of which was revolving around resolutions and the like, I was reading about yet another person who felt challenged with regard to feelings of 'self-worth'. It utterly amazes me the number of people that have in the past or currently do have genuine issues with feeling worthy.

And then a thought began to sprout and take root. What if, we as spiritual beings having a human experience, somewhere, deep down in our subconscious are aware of the higher 'evolution' for a lack of better terms, of our spiritual soul, and we know on a subconscious or visceral level, that in this incarnation as humans we are, for the most part, perhaps not less than, but considerably different than ourselves as ethereal and spiritual beings and therefore we strive to compete with that instead of just being who we are and learning what we set out to learn?

It was just a thought. And perhaps not even a tangible one. Or maybe that's just the human in me being self-conscious again. Who knows?

What I do know is that this year, 2007, is going to be a changing year. I'm going to grow, in all areas other than my waist band. There are friends I've lost touch with, people whom I have yet to meet, things I have yet to discover, places I've yet to experience and knowledge I have yet to learn. And perhaps the biggest of this, becoming the person I've yet to be. Not to mention chocolate I've yet to eat. Which of course, is a direct contradition with the waistband thing, so I guess it's time to strap on the athletic shoes and get a wiggle on to counteract the effects of chocolate ingestion.

So, in keeping with an old expression, (no not, 'gentlemen start your engines'), I was thinking more along the lines of 'let the games begin!'